unsaved by the rain

  

It has been almost three months now most areas in Sumatera and half part of Kalimantan are blanketed by smoke and haze resulted from the burning of lands, especially on the peatlands.

The impacts are enormous. According to the National Disaster Response Agency (BNPB) 40 million people are exposed to the smoke and haze, and more than 400 thousand people are suffered from the acute respiratory infection (ISPA) according to the Ministry of Health. Hundreds of flights have been canceled, thousands of students can not enjoy proper education. The economic loss is predicted to reach 20 trillion rupiahs (approximately USD 2 billion).

For eighteen years now Indonesians have experienced smoke and haze that disrupt their daily lives and affect their livelihoods. And for those years lessons have not been learnt. Moral hazards and bad practices of natural resources extraction persist and unpunished, deep-rooting like cancer that eats up the body piece by piece.

For eighteen years the fires, smoke and haze have been treated as a given situation, and tackled in a responsive mode. If we are honest, none of those responsive mode of action could actually put off the fires in peatlands completely. All these years it has been ‘the hands of God’ that put off the fires once and for all –in the form of rains; heavy heavy rains. And we human forget easily. The bad practices are repeated year after year. And every time we have been ‘lucky’: we have been saved by nature. Nature actually teaches us, but we are too stupid and ignorant to learn. We forget that we can not push our luck.

And this year the most waited rain –heavy heavy rains, has not come yet. Parts of government and corporations –whose concession areas are located on the peatlands, are starting to put the blame on El Nino. Plantation concession holders said that they don’t burn their lands, and that it is burnt automatically because of the hot temperature, and that it is difficult to put off the fires in the peatlands. Yes it is indeed difficult to put off the fire once it happens on the now-naked-and-dried peatland forest! That is why the peatland forest –a wetland in its natural undisturbed condition, must not be clearcut at all in the first place!

Now it seems like nature teaches us harder. But greeds and moral hazards can not be dimmed easily. And unfortunately, the costs of the hard lesson from nature must be borne mostly by the parties that even have nothing to do with those behaviors –like children. Five children from different provinces have died –suffocated and failed to breathe, triggered by the smoke-haze exposures.

For eighteen years the state have done little, and even giving impunities to the perpetrators of the felony. For eighteen years the most fundamental rights of the citizen –human beings, to breathe in good and healthy air has been violated. For eighteen years the state has subsidized corporations –through policies and peoples money, to maintain their moral hazards.

Five casualties and millions of sufferers; Is it not enough? How many more lives it needs to open the eyes that have been blinded by the mantra of profit maximization? How many more lives it needs to make the ears that have been plugged by the whispers of economic growth myth really listen?

pictures are additional

Seperti sudah sering saya ungkapkan dalam blog ini, bahwa saya pada dasarnya adalah pembosan. Teperangkap dalam rutinitas bisa jadi mimpi buruk bagi saya. Namun di sisi lain, saya juga pada dasarnya adalah pemalas. Saya tidak akan melakukan sesuatu hingga level di-bela-belain jika sesuatu itu tidak menarik buat saya, atau jika saya tidak memiliki kepentingan atas sesuatu tersebut, atau jika sesuatu itu tidak menyangkut orang-orang terdekat saya. I will not move, even an inch. 

Seperti halnya jogging, travelling, dan foto-memoto, semuanya itu saya lakukan selain karena saya suka, tapi juga karena itu bisa melarikan diri saya dari urusan pikir memikir yang memang jadi pekerjaan saya. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and not consider it as burden. Tapi untuk terus berpikir tanpa jeda juga akan membuat saya suntuk. Hence, saya merasa membutuhkan aktifitas-aktifitas semacam di atas sebagai penjeda.

Makanya, dalam jogging misalnya, walaupun saya suka, tapi saya belum sampai level bela-belain bangun subuh untuk pergi ke tempat race dan mengikuti lomba lari itu sampai finish –apalagi sampai menang! Gak terpikir sama sekali. Dan travelling juga demikian. Walaupun saya suka travelling, jalan-jalan, dan naik gunung, saya belum sampai pada level bela-belain bepergian sendirian ke tempat-tempat yang jauh. Bagi saya, yah, kalau ada waktu, ada dana, dan ada yang nemanin, saya pergi. Kalau nggak ada salah satunya, malas lah. Mendingan leyeh-leyeh di rumah. Bepergian sendirian –kecuali untuk urusan kerja– is a big no buat saya. Apa enaknya coba?

Nah, sekarang untuk urusan foto memoto yang memang saya akui sekarang ini sudah menjadi kebiasaan buat saya. Bukan hobby, tapi kebutuhan. Sehari pokoknya musti njepret at least satu foto. 

 

Dijepret saat saya sedang jogging bersama adik di GBK Senayan

 
Tapi lagi-lagi untuk urusan ini saya belum sampai level bela-belain belajar teknik fotografi. Terus terang saya malas mikir. Apperture, speed dan istilah-istilah fotografi lainnya lewat begitu saja dari kepala saya, nggak ada yang nyangkut sedikitpun, walaupun ada teman yang mengajari saya. 

 

Dijepret saat sedang menunggu bus di satu halte

 
Ada sih keinginan untuk pursuing ini secara lebih serius, terutama dikaitkan dengan studi akademik saya. Nanti, kalau saya berkepentingan dengan urusan studi, saya tau saya pasti akan bela-belain belajar fotografi. Tapi itu nanti, bukan sekarang.

Dalam aktifitas foto memoto ini saya tidak berniat menghasilkan foto dengan kualitas tertentu, atau tema tertentu, atau misi tertentu. Ya, apa yang saya lihat, saya temui, saya suka, dan hati serta pikiran saya clicked, ya saya foto. Bagaimana menampilkannya, dan akan disandingkan dengan apa –entah dengan cerita, entah dengan puisi, entah dengan apapun, ya itu hal lain lagi, tergantung mood dan ide yang muncul di kepala saja. Atau bahkan beberapa foto cuma tersimpan apik di hard disk tanpa saya beri perlakuan apapun. Suka-suka lah pokoknya.

 

Dijepret saat sedang berjalan menuju gerbong kereta, dalam perjalanan pulang

 
Makanya, kalau diajak teman untuk hunting foto, saya merasa kurang sreg. Saya nggak mau dibebani misi berburu seuatu, atau berpikir bagaimana menemukan sesuatu. Wong aktifitas ini untuk melarikan diri dari urusan pikir memikir kok. Dan makanya pula, foto-foto yang saya hasilkan dan saya tampilkan di media sosial pun hampir semuanya candid dan tidak direncanakan atau diatur-atur. Foto-foto itu saya ambil pas ketika saya naik kereta atau bus menuju kantor, sedang dalam perjalanan ke tempat tertentu, lewat daerah tertentu, atau pas lagi pergi makan-makan sama keluarga –misalnya. Memang untuk memungkinkan hal itu saya selalu membawa kamera, ya paling tidak kamera dari iphone.. hahhaa.. Dan sejak saya mulai senang dengan kamera analog, ke mana-mana saya membawa kamera analog tersebut, yang memang ukurannya kecil, nggak bulky, gak macem-macem dan gampang dibawa ke mana-mana.

 

Dijepret dari dalam mobil, saat sedang macet di satu jalan di Jakarta

 
Demikianlah perilaku amatiran saya ini, melakukan apa yang saya senangi, dengan cara yang saya senangi, pada waktu yang saya senangi –dan kadang tanpa tujuan sama sekali.

 

Dijepret saat habis makan siang bersama keluarga, di depan restoran

  

Dijepret sesaat setelah turun dari kereta, dalam perjalanan ke kantor

  

Dijepret saat menuju ATM di dekat kantor, menggunakan kamera analog

  

Dijepret dari dalam pesawat, sesaat sebelum taxiing, menggunakan kamera analog

  

Dijepret saat berjalan di jembatan penyeberangan, dalam perjalanan menuju lokasi pertemuan/meeting

  

Dijepret saat sedang window-shopping dengan teman, di satu mal di Jakarta

 
 

lie liar lying

“Lying is the most personal cowardice act there is.”

Berbohong. Kata seorang pengarang yang saya kutip di atas, berbohong adalah satu tindakan paling pengecut yang dilakukan secara sadar oleh manusia. Banyak alasan orang untuk berbohong, dan memang alasan paling utama adalah ketidakberanian menghadapi kenyataan, ketidakberanian menghadapai persoalan yang menyebabkan orang yang bersangkutan kemudian bahkan memanipulasi kebaikan orang lain untuk keuntungan dirinya.

Dan yang paling memuakkan adalah kebohongan yang ditutup-tutupi dengan senyum manis dan ekspresi lebay yang diumbar ke mana-mana. Ketawa aja saya.

Yah semoga kalian menikmati kesalingberbohongan tersebut, dan menikmati keuntungan yang kalian dapatkan dari memanipulasi kebaikan orang lain akibat kepengecutan kalian menghadapi persoalan.

Selamat berbangga hari ini!

my running diary: first 5k in 30 minutes

  
As an on/off runner I have nothing to be proud of. Since i start running more regularly in 2013 I always missed my target on the time planned. for example, I missed the target to reach my first 10k on time, although I finally reached it long time after. Thanks to my running buddies who accompany me in Senayan at that time. 

One of my long-pending targets was to reach the 5k within 30 minutes. It means I have to be able to run as fast as 6 minutes per kilometer (or runners usually say it as “pace 6”). Concerning my average pace had never moved from 8 or 7 and my on/off running habit, reaching the 5/30 seemed quite impossible for me –hence I forgot it.

Because of Ramadhan, I stopped doing the run this year during the fasting month–although last year the fasting did not stop me. But after Idul Fitri, I felt my muscles and body craved for some exercises. It is true what people say that exercises make you addicted. So, last Sunday, together with some friends from college time I did my first run after Id. I could only reached 2k that morning. Well, everything needs adjustments after hibernating for some time, including our body.

Like before, after running I felt refreshed, so I made promise to myself that I will be more committed this time. So last night, again I did my evening run. A friend from the office accompanied me. I infected him to start running, by the way. Hehehee.

So we run. He stopped after 10 rounds of the 400 meter track. I continued. I have said to myself that I won’t stop until 5k –it means at least 13 rounds. After finishing the run, I checked my running mobileapplication, and there it showed that I did 5/30!! And the last night’s run also set a new record as my fastest pace ever!

Pheww! I am so happy! šŸ˜„šŸ˜„šŸ˜„

i am starting my zines

One of the downsides of having things in digital form is that you can not touch it. I am a kind of person who likes to use as many senses as possible in learning or knowing things I encountered. If I like a song I hear, then the next thing is I want to see the singer singing, and if possible watching live his/her performance. If I see pictures of some beautiful places that I fond of, then the next thing is that I need to go to the places –touching its soils, smells its air, feeling the everyday’s beats of the place.

The same also applies for books. I don’t like reading eBook. I prefer spending more money to buy the actual printing so I can touch it, smell the paper, touch it, and make notes or just underlining important things on it. I also like to see my books on my bookshelf. I can just sit there, staring at the books and feeling blessed –of how lucky I am to have opportunity to know more than the “unlucky” ones.

And now that I fond of taking pictures, I also am not satisfied only to have the photographs in digital form. I like to touch them –like I used to do with old film-photographs. I like to print them and put them in some albums. So now I am starting to print my photographs again, and also make zines to compile them under specific themes. 

I printed a poem-photo book before, also for the same reason.

So here we go, one of my zines, ready to be brought to the printer.
Enjoy!

Analoging Manhattan

stupidity

“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” Albert Einstein.

I am quoting Einstein’s words because I lately have encountered stupidities.

Stupidity, I think, and I believe Einstein did, too, doesn’t have any relation with IQ or cleverness. It’s more about attitude. And I think stupidity comes from ignorance and arrogance.

Arrogance, because people think they are clever, read a lot of books or know so many theory and theorists. They are right, others are wrong. They know everything. 

And ignorance, because they think they are the only thing in the world that matter. They are the center of universe and the world revolves around them. They don’t care about other things, hence they are reluctant to learn to understand other people, and tend to underestimate things or people.

And what makes me piss off is that usually stupidity leads to problems. Problems that make other people’s lives difficult. And because of this, other people must clean the dirty plates. And worse, due to their infinite stupidity they make joke about the problems that other people has resolved!! For me, no mercy for this kind of people. I consider them not exist. I see no evil, hear no evil, know no evil.

That is why when faced with stupidity, or ignorance, or arrogance, I sincerely pray to God to protect these kind of people — so that they will not cause problems and make other people’s lives difficult. 

And if the absence of problems make them think they are right and make them more arrogance, so be it. Let them drown and breathe in their infinite stupidity.

I’ve had enough.

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261k and keep going

It has been a year now since I started running regularly. Well I wanted it to be an everyday run, but unfortunately because of my busy schedule (uhuk..) that required me to go out of the city, and my chronic laziness, that ‘regularly’ has become not so regularly.

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So far I have run as far as 261.6 km! Yes! And I think it’s not that bad, is it? This morning I finished a 10k –although it was done in a very slow pace. Well It has been a month now since the last time I run, so I don’t want to hurt my feet. Besides, I have just come back from travel that made me sit for 20 hours –one way! Poor my back and my feet, so I need to stretch them out a little bit.

I love running, because it clears my mind, makes me calm, not to think about anything but my step. It is a kind of meditation for me. The sore in the angkle or the leg doesn’t matter, it is part of the experience.

I am not really fond of joining the fun-run competition, as I found it difficult to really run, and just too much efforts to do.. (for example, waking up very early and going to the race place.. eugh!) Hahaaha.. Yes, I am pathetic lazy b*tch! šŸ˜œ

But, as I plan to go hiking again by the end of this year and need to maintain my health and body strength –so I will not become a burden for someone else, I need to keep my spirit high and drag myself out of my comfy bed for running more often. Besides, I have targetted myself to join and finish a full marathon some time next year. Aamiin.

By the way, currently I am reading an unusual book of Hiraki Murakami’s “What I Talk About When I Talk About Running”. I didn’t know that he is a runner. So when I saw the book at Strand Bookstore, Manhattan, I just grabbed and bought it. Knowing the real side of the authors is one of my interests, understanding their background, how they grew up etc can help me understand their writings, or why they chose a theme for their book, for example. And Murakami’s book makes me smile all the time as I feel quite the same as him, as runner –although I am not that good runner compared to him. But somehow I can relate.

Anyway..

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